And Back Again

After many hours of soul searching and thinking, i knew that i wanted to try being with my Master again. Yesterday, when i saw Him, we talked a little bit, and i ended up asking Him to take me back. He asked why He should; i said that i wanted to be a good girl. That i would take pains to obey Him, not whine or throw fits about anything (how very childish... i'm ashamed of myself) and that i had realized that previously, i had forgotten that in this relationship, He owes me nothing more than the instruction it takes to train me into the slave He wants me to be.

i, however, owe Him everything, and anything He wants, whenever, and however He wants. i am a lucky girl if He decides He wants to have sex with me, let me cum, play with me. i am lucky if He even looks at me. He is in charge, and i should not be fighting Him or being disobediant. He has never asked me to do anything that would harm me, and He gives me tasks that will make me a better person, last longer in scenes and during sex, and will make me a better slave. Why did i fight this before?

i am glad to have found my way back, as i adore this relationship, even though it is very hard work to own and be owned, the relationship is more fulfilling to me.

i am very afraid; when He accepted me back as His slave, He said "This is the last time." i know it's true. He will not take me back if i leave again. He cannot take the constant mind-changes and disobediance that He has been getting from me. i am lucky He even decided to give me one last chance. i must work exceedingly hard; for if i fight His authority, disobey Him, and make His life harder, i feel He will go. i only want to make Him happy, and make His life easier-its time i show it.