Some Fun This Week

So, while majorly upset with my Master (Our relationship has ended), I still had a lot of fun this week. On Sunday, I was talking with one of my friends while we were hanging out in the pool, and I brought up that I am into BDSM. Guess what? So was she. She came with me to a munch, and then one of the days this week we had a little scene. I put a few zippers on her (clothespins all attacted to a string/rope and then clamped to the skin. This then allows the top to pull on the string and pop off the clothesins very quickly all at once.) and we did a little spanking and paddling. I didn't get too much into that as I was very tired, she was badly sunburned, and again, I am new to topping, and did not want to give her too much too fast during our first play session.

I mentioned to another friend who has known that I am "kinky" that I am planning on going to a play party on Saturday. He also came over to swim, and then while sharing three bottles of "champange" he reveiled to me that he has both a foot fetish and a tickling fetish. He and I had been running around all day together, and I had been going outside barefoot for most of the day, and my feet were VERY dirty, but he asked if he could worship my feet. I had been DYING to have my feet worshiped, so of course I allowed him. It was amazing! It was so wet and passionate. He licked first one, sucked on my toes, and then the other foot. He also put my feet together and licked in between them (I thought of this like a foot pussy haha) and licked in between my toes. It was so awesome. He then asked if he could sleep at my feet, which he did for most of the night before turning around and sleeping normal ways.

My male foot-worshiper friend is coming over tonight, and my friend sent me a text yesterday about wanting to play. I wish I was in more of a Topping/Domme mood, but it gets really hard because I was badly hurt by my master.

The Breaking

My Master lied to me. The one thing I really will not stand. We've been having many issues and off and on, but he lied directly to my face, even when I asked him a very specific question. What a great thing to find out on the day we celebrate his birthday.

Another thing- he was pushing me to have a commitment ceremony even though he was lying to me. Why? I believe so he could tell me that i couldnt leave him when I found out.

He was right. All his relationships do end because of him. He was scared of being cheated on, which is basically what he was doing with me, as he lied to me.

Thankfully, about two weeks ago, I lost all my trust for him and cried and hurt for him. I did not regain trust for him within the past two weeks, which makes this parting easy. This parting causes me little sadness now, and mainly just a great relief that the drama is over.


Masters: DO NOT LIE TO YOUR SLAVE. M/s has the same needs as a regular relationship, and communication, trust, and stability are key to making it work.

Short version: He had another girl listed as his submissive. He assured me that they were not playing or having sex and that it was just a mentoring thing. He lied to me about this and he lied to her about being sexually active with me, and he lied to either one of us or possibly both of us about what he wanted from her and how long she was going to be around. I cannot stand being lied to.

Can I learn?

I once again have been making rash decisions over problems while dropping. Luckily my Master is very patient with me, has stuck around for me to calm down. My irrationality made Him think that I was throwing a fit to try to get my way, but after we discussed the situation calmly and logically, and I could explain why I was hurt, He made changes to His plan, as He now understands my problems with the current situation.

The best advice anyone can give you is this: calm down, and communicate. When you cant communicate effectively, the other person in your relationship cannot understand what you want them to do.

I have posted some pages up for informaion that isn't really my blogging, and I hope they will be helpful. As my blog is my random mess and collection of ideas, feelings, and thoughts, any good advice will be hard to collect. As I think on it now, most of my posts (the unhappy ones at least) are written while I was dropping. As this blog is mainly a way for my Master to be able to see how I am feeling, it is helpful to Him, but is under-represented in the happy times, so I will be sure to post more of that.

I have been writing a new contract for us. Our year of our first signing is almost here (Aug 13th!). Our contract didn't completely apply to us, it was more for a live-in situation, which we do not have, and as we are working on our new contract (He will be sending me some revisions within the hour) it will be specifically designed for us, which I now think is the best way to go about contracts. In it we have our general "always" rules, allowances for our special situation, and shows our love for eachother. I hope that reading it over will help withsub-drop and lonliness for when I cannot be with Him.

When our contract is finished, I will post it, if allowed.