My Friends

So it seems more people read this than I knew, or thought. I have people giving me their hopes and thoughts, and I really am thankful that you all care enough about me to check this.

I also just wanted to say, quickly, that this is of course, my side of the story. I have done my best not to distort it. I know he comes from a good place, wanting to give me a friend and that safety in public, but if she does not want to play with me (unknown) and is straight (known), then it doesnt help me out with the things i am not getting from my love: enough loving time, attention, and BDSM play. Now, he has already dedicated himself to helping her, before i have met her, and I am hurt. I am expected to help this young lady find herself in BDSM, but i do not have the time or energy to teach someone completely new, especially if i do not get what i need out of the relationship.

I hope for his love, his apology, and his care. Because right now, I am not his. I do not feel like I was respected. Others in the community here have destroyed women in the same way our relationship is being destroyed.

I made this blog for a few reasons. I needed a place to put my frustration, hopes, anger, disappointments, my stuggles and my love. I needed them in one place so that he could read them when he had a second. I don't even know if he has read the last one, as he has no time to see me personally, to talk, or even to text.

I want to talk to him about the relationships others have witnessed collapsing. I wish he had been with me, this weekend, like he was supposed to, so he could have heard them all firsthand, and witnessed it.

I am not at ALL opposed to poly. Just to forced poly. With a man who has no time and a woman who is not attracted to me...sounds great.